7007

Hello,

My blog has been read more than 7000 times.

Simply, thank you. I hope what I post on some level resonates with you, whether it is for a moment or for a lifetime ( or anything in between).

Sabine

the beast in me

Apparently there is a new trend towards honesty in the blogosphere. Confessions of a Pretoria Chique shared her issues, and here is a whole list of bloggers who decided that now is the time to show more private aspects of themselves. If that is what they feel they need to do, great. If it somehow makes you feel better, brilliant. If thousands comment that they now feel closer to the blogger, or have the same issue, or can relate to this revelation, good for you.

But let's be honest, then. Is it not easier to tell an anonymous hive of users about your feelings than to tell the people in your inner circle? We are terrified of saying, to their faces, the truths about ourselves out of fear of being rejected. Online, this is a non-issue simply because it is not real. Honesty might be real, but the people that read your blog are not flesh-and-blood to you. Their opinion won't enormously affect you. Sure, some people get hounded online and some have even committed suicide as a result ( this article on cyberbullying in South Korea is an example), but to me, it does not have the same effect if PettySharkThief098 calls me a ugly racist bitch or if one of my best friends does it. The reason? You cannot know me simply by reading my blog. This is just a facet, it is just the part of me that I want to represent online.

Sure, I know some of the people that I see on a daily basis do read what I write and that they might connect my stories to conversations we have had or places we have gone to together. But not one them ever comments. I can write ANYTHING I like and no one writes a meaningful comment. My guess it that either my writing is super-boring, the topics are of no meaning to them or, we have talked about this in person, so it is unnecessary to rehash it online. Blogging is like the super-size-me of Twitter, it is an ego-boost in paragraphs and I have no illusions about this being more a project for myself than for anyone else.

I think it is great when people are being more earnest (and this does not equal maliciousness). Previously I have said that in my own family we suffer from a let's-not-talk-about-it disease, so in my mind saying what is on your heart can be a positive release. However, I must admit that some things should be kept to yourself. Not every intimate detail of my life can be shared here. On the one hand, I don't think I am all that interesting, and on the other hand it's like Florence sings, "I like to keep some things to myself". I understand that this was not the task set my the Things-I'm-Afraid-To-Tell-You campaign, that they merely wanted to feel reassured ( and reassure their readers in turn) that everyone has problems and quirks and that it is all perfectly normal.

I just kind of feel like it is a superficial gesture. As I said, if it helped a few people, that is awesome. But everyone will continue posting about clothes and baking and nice photographs and where they went ( and I am not exempting myself from this). People might cheer you on for being honest in a post in between the happy posts. But all my life I have been told I am too honest, that I have no tact, that I should think about what I say before I do so. New people have been pre-warned by my friends that I am "too honest", so they should not be offended by what I say. ( I say WTF ,by the way to that, now).

So here is my lesson learned, fellow bloggers with much larger audiences. Honesty is not what people wish to read about. They find the occasional whiff of it refreshing, but because the news just keeps blasting negativity and corruption and PROBLEMS at us I would bet that most readers just want to quickly glance at beauty and find some inspiration in a dreary day. Hell, this post is probably waaaaay to much reading for most people.


Here are my honesty points for the day:

- I don't know what to do with my arms when I try to fall asleep, so I fold them ( imagine the don't-talk-to-me body language pose).
- I miss my dogs more than any human that has died in my life ( granted, only my grandparents have died and I did not know them well).
- I see my musical taste as being one of my redeeming qualities and will judge you for listening to PitBull ( or similar).
- When I don't have to see anyone over the weekend, I don't wash my hair or wear a bra. It is quite liberating.
- Often, I want to shout at other students that they should stop being fucking idiots. Yes, the F word is needed because most of today's youth is too self-absorbed ( haha says the one who writes as an ego boost) to notice how their idiocy is impacting the world.
-I know I make spelling mistakes, but honestly, I am too lazy to reread what I wrote.

That is all.

Vandag

I (secretly) like drowning and not waving. When it gets this busy at stages in life there is no time to reflect on little issues, on daily problems, on tiny details that could mean more than they do when analysed. Look. It's not like I am super busy. Evidently : I am writing this, and on the list of priorities, blogging is not really number 1. Neither is mixing myself a twisted Mojito with the last limes and Bacardi. I don't know what is most important. I make lists and scratch things out as I go along. And somehow, it always works out, with more or less sleep. But it always works out. 

So I don't really understand when people don't do much. Sure, over the holidays I spend waaaaay too much time watching Gossip Girl and pretending to read 'literature' ( this means I aim to read Austen or something that one 'should have read', but instead I go through old magazines and watch TV). Or after a stressful week one needs to blow off steam and do nothing. But permanently doing nothing, really? 

Anyways. Someone I know's friend started a blog. It's in Afrikaans, if you're keen. 

Vir Schoemanstraatslette en ander inwoners *

My friend Berdene features in the following videos, which are part of Webfest's finalists.
Vote for her if you like it:

 - Car Guarded

 - Devil in a Fishtank

The first year I was studying here I was constantly comparing the city to the one's I had lived in in Europe. But one must realize that Pretoria is far removed from the socio-cultural activities that happen in big metropolitan cities and that here, there are different things to experience. You cannot hope to relive Paris in Pretoria. But you can embrace what this city is trying to offer.

As already blogged about, the Pretoria Stadstapper Fotoklap ( read more here and here), aims to experience different neighbourhoods and to explore them with their cameras.

Also, Capital Arts is another venture to bring art back into the city.
Recently, they hosted the Capital Arts in the Park, where one could get together at Magnolia Dell park and look at the exhibited pieces while enjoying a soft serve. Although I did not appreciate any of the art that much, I did enjoy going somewhere a little different and watching all the people.

At Magnolia Dell , October 2011

There is even a blog dedicated to happenings in Pretoria: IlovePretoria.

What else is there to do here? Ah yes, Park Acoustics.

I know there is a lot more going on in the city that I am not aware of, and that if one resists the urge to constantly compare this city to other capitals in the world, one will find that there is still a lot to do here other than sitting at home watching the rugby, having a braai or washing one's car.






* for Schoemanstreetsluts and other residents

1001

Tralala, 1001 times my blog has been read. Must be the new design that has people streaming in to read about all of my witty adventures and spelling mistakes.

In any case, thank you for reading. This blog might be my Moleskin. So much less pretentious, don't you think?!

Yesterday I took the Gautrain for the first time to attend my fabulous friend's birthday, and I must admit it was an awesome ( not the HIMYM sense, the real, Miltonic being-in-awe sense). I have been on various trains since childhood. We once went from Geneva to Germany and one of the compartments was a McDonald's and I remember missioning on my own to go get us some burgers for lunch. Or taking the TGV from Strasbourg after having spent a great weekend with old friends in Freiburg. The train had free internet... And while living overseas ( geez what a brat I am, haha) the metro, RER, S- and U-Bahn were the daily mode of transportation. I must admit, I miss not having to drive myself everywhere. Naturally it is a privilege to be able to drive, but it is irritating to have to jump in the car every time you want to go somewhere. Driving is a far greater responsibility than merely sitting or standing. I doubt sitting could kill someone. Well, perhaps if you were morbidly obese and would sit on a baby.

So here we do have the luxury of driving and open stretches of road, but we also have added responsibility, waiting in traffic jams, taxis who don't know traffic rules and people in big BMWs that sit on your ass and drive like their cars make up for their lack of personality.

But now that technology is here, I never want to drive again. It was so nice to just sit and watch the countryside ( or rather the urban sprawl that is Centurion and Midrand) and observe the other people. It might be slightly costly, and it is stupid to take the Gautrain if your destination is not anywhere near the station, but if you are going some place near the train- or bus-route it is quite cool.

I was a bit sad that most people avoid eye contact and focus on reading or listening to music or looking at their BlackBerrys. Also, the security was rather rude and somewhat over-present. I know we must protect the new asset, but perhaps send half of the security men to hunt the cable thieves instead of harassing people for chewing gum ( it is a cardinal sin, the fine is R 700). Just leave a main security man with some nice security ladies and the others can go be aggressive to actual criminals.

In any case, again, thanks for reading, and feel free to comment. I know commenting is often quite stupid but it does make me feel like this is not merely an ego-project to see my words published, even if it is on a free-self-created-google-based-blog.




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