At my school we had a Hexenhäuschen (the witch's house from fables) that during break-time would sell square slices of pizza and fizzers and chips and sweets to the primary school. But then it closed, and everyone had to go to the main tuck shop. I found it very intimidating, all these Grade 8s and above.
Tomorrow I go back, and am still intimidated. Damn, school stays with you. In some episode of Modern Family, Mitchell tells Manny that at school, every one wants to fit in. But as soon as we leave school, we want to be seen as individuals and stand out. It is like flipping a switch, where at school cool means being like everyone else, and then, with that Matric/Abi/Bac/whatever diploma in your hands, you suddenly, with all your might, refuse to fit in.
It makes me nervous, because my decently great PowerPoint might be a failure, I might not find my words, or most of all, yes, worst of all, I might realise nothing has changed in six years. You know, the idea that after school, you evolve into the person you were supposed to become, not hindered and stunted by high-school expectations. But what if it never changes, and there is always some hegemony involved which you can never break free of. What if what we were is all we'll ever be, at the core.
While I am reasoning these insecurities out, all I am actually thinking is "Screw that. That was then, this is now, we constantly change and adapt, and (not to be all 'yay, for tomorrow is another day') you can handle anything the world throws at you".
The greatest joy of spring is smelling the yesterday, today, tomorrow bushes ( or trees?). There is one in front of my window and the scent fills my room slowly while I am at the university and then when I get back my room smells so great. I just want to wrap myself in this pillow of soft-blossomed-sweetness.
Spring must be everyone's favourite time of year. Summer is way too hot, winter way too cold, and autumn does not really do anything for us, except if you live somewhere where the leaves drop from the trees in amazing showers of colourful diversity. But here, well, autumn is nice with slightly milder weather, but you know winter is coming when the earth goes dry and all the previously lush front lawns suddenly become this light-yellowish place of drought and one can see the red-brown earth surfacing between dying blades of grass.
The one bad aspect of spring, for me, is shaving. During winter there is no need to shave one's legs, because they are always covered, and even if you wear stockings your hair growth will be covered. But oh no, come spring, everyone suddenly wears non-existent shorts and skirts that barely cover the behind when one is standing. Not that I conform to unnecessary showings of flesh, but a skirt of decent length sadly also requires that one shave. Ugh and I hate it. I almost cut half my leg of once and since then I am really not into the idea of scarring myself permanently again. Shaving is a risk. But on the other hand, the stubble that has formed over the winter hibernation does look slightly unsightly and it doesn't feel to great either if touched by someone who is not a guitar player and thus does not have really calloused fingertips.
My sister and I once jointly bought an epilator. I think that is what the torture machine is officially called. Heidi Klum advertises for it ( well, she really advertises for everything). The monster individually pulls out the hair and the sound it makes is just torturous. It makes this really fast squealing sound and I just think that that is enough to put me off. I tried the monster on my knee once, but I am against inflicting pain on myself if it is not necessary.
In any case, I had to bring out the shaver again, but I do not trust the little blade, and I am kind of inclined to forget about shaving only to realize in class that my legs look quite unevenly tanned and rather furry. But luckily my original hair colour shows itself on my legs and the little hairs are too light to see if one is not quite close. I understand women with darker hair cannot make the same mistake and have it not be noticeable.
I think we should all just let everything grow. Go back to our primal, hair-full selves. But then again, we all conform to photo-shopped smoothness of media depictions of what "normal" people look like and perhaps subconsciously we want to be only selectively hairy. Maybe the hair-loss is also a sign of evolution, a distinguishing mark of having moved beyond the ape. Its quite ironic that women go to extreme lengths to remove unsightly hairs and men go to extreme lengths to grow hair.
I don't really know. I was just thinking about how I will wear pants tomorrow because I am too lazy to shave.
This is Noah and the Whale with " I have nothing".
A few years ago BMW had an ad running on TV that featured Dutch artist Theo Jansen. He is a kinetic sculptor, and he creates these "beests" ( Dutch for "monster") that just require a little wind to be able to move on their own. He hopes that one day, his creations will be able to live independently of him in little herds.
This is the BMW advert.
I like how the strandbeests are a bit like Frankenstein, they are somehow created by a master who has control and yet does not . However, this one combines his engineering skills with aesthetics. So perhaps a prettier monster? I like the way they move, the way it looks like skeletons that have come alive to take an evening stroll. I like how they seem alive but one knows they are not.
If you are interested in Mr Jansen and his creations, you can go look at his website or watch the TED video.
Tralala, 1001 times my blog has been read. Must be the new design that has people streaming in to read about all of my witty adventures and spelling mistakes.
In any case, thank you for reading. This blog might be my Moleskin. So much less pretentious, don't you think?!
Yesterday I took the Gautrain for the first time to attend my fabulous friend's birthday, and I must admit it was an awesome ( not the HIMYM sense, the real, Miltonic being-in-awe sense). I have been on various trains since childhood. We once went from Geneva to Germany and one of the compartments was a McDonald's and I remember missioning on my own to go get us some burgers for lunch. Or taking the TGV from Strasbourg after having spent a great weekend with old friends in Freiburg. The train had free internet... And while living overseas ( geez what a brat I am, haha) the metro, RER, S- and U-Bahn were the daily mode of transportation. I must admit, I miss not having to drive myself everywhere. Naturally it is a privilege to be able to drive, but it is irritating to have to jump in the car every time you want to go somewhere. Driving is a far greater responsibility than merely sitting or standing. I doubt sitting could kill someone. Well, perhaps if you were morbidly obese and would sit on a baby.
So here we do have the luxury of driving and open stretches of road, but we also have added responsibility, waiting in traffic jams, taxis who don't know traffic rules and people in big BMWs that sit on your ass and drive like their cars make up for their lack of personality.
But now that technology is here, I never want to drive again. It was so nice to just sit and watch the countryside ( or rather the urban sprawl that is Centurion and Midrand) and observe the other people. It might be slightly costly, and it is stupid to take the Gautrain if your destination is not anywhere near the station, but if you are going some place near the train- or bus-route it is quite cool.
I was a bit sad that most people avoid eye contact and focus on reading or listening to music or looking at their BlackBerrys. Also, the security was rather rude and somewhat over-present. I know we must protect the new asset, but perhaps send half of the security men to hunt the cable thieves instead of harassing people for chewing gum ( it is a cardinal sin, the fine is R 700). Just leave a main security man with some nice security ladies and the others can go be aggressive to actual criminals.
In any case, again, thanks for reading, and feel free to comment. I know commenting is often quite stupid but it does make me feel like this is not merely an ego-project to see my words published, even if it is on a free-self-created-google-based-blog.
