My teeth have always been an interesting topic to write about. Or not.
In school I had braces, where each visit to the orthodontist ended with the promise that "next time" the damned railways would be taken out. Mine were taken finally removed and for the first time in years I could let my tongue glide across the smooth surface. No more food stuck somewhere! No more elastics that could shoot out of your mouth at any minute! No more awkward brace-kissing! No more holding your hand in front of your mouth when you're laughing! The joy!!!
Years later my friend knocked off a piece of my front tooth with a beer bottle, by accident. The tooth was evened out and my smile, though crooked, had straight teeth again.
Today I had to go to the dentist. There was nothing wrong. Some months back a tooth broke off (story of my life it seems) and they fixed it and somehow today was just to fix what was fixed already. But damn it hurt. It is still hurting. First that abnormally large silver syringe that looks like it had time-travelled from the 19th century just to be stabbed into my gums. Then the dentist and his assistant kept talking about the 'excavator' ( which made me imagine them pulling Excalibur from between my teeth) or the 'plugger' or 'Helen's instrument' ( pretty sure I heard this one wrong) and stuffing roles of pink cotton into my cheeks. The next tool used was some blue light that I could see reflected in his glasses, and then it felt like the two of them were competing to tear the corners of my mouth further and further apart.
The highlight of it all: being told that I was being very "soet" ( in Afrikaans), which one tells a child when they are behaving well. Great. I cannot wait to get my lollipop.
Look, it wasn't childbirth or anything, but ja, my gums are still hurting. Damn you, giant syringe.
Showing posts with label braces. Show all posts
Showing posts with label braces. Show all posts
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Railway lines
Did you have braces when you were at school?
I did. And so did about half of my class at some point. As soon as we hit high school, on came the railways. This would probably be the worst time to be made even more awkward: puberty, hormones, bad skin, growing desires, and then you impose a chastity belt on your teeth. When I got mine, I did not think they were that bad. I wasn't into the creative elastic arrangements in different colours because they would draw even more attention to my mouth.
Once, I was chewing gum, and the stupid ball got caught behind my braces: my teeth were lined with gum.Gum gum gum everywhere. And then one can't go pulling it out in the middle of class. Now I am laughing at how embarrassed I was, but it is really quite funny. Shame.
I had braces for my first kiss. Luckily he did not. I wonder if two people with them can really get stuck? If they can interlock somehow and then one stands there, literally lip-locked. That must be quite a story to tell at a dinner table twenty years later.
Strange how the youth of my generation have mostly had braces. We have all had metal-mouths. Perhaps this feeds from the now-ingrained obsession with what we look like. And teeth do seem to play a rather vital role there. No one is content with theirs, we seem to want super-white sparkly straight teeth, like we see in the Colgate adverts. Just thinking about the British one thinks of bad teeth, or about how Tom Cruises's look a lot more perfect that they did in Top Gun.
I am glad I had braces. I am glad everything is on the straight and narrow ( well, sort of). But now, years after having been freed form the constraints, years after sliding my tongue over smooth teeth, they are starting to separate again, especially between the front two. The teeth have a mind of their own. No, it is probably a genetic predisposition to imperfect incisors.
And to be honest, I would rather have a tiny ( haha let's hope it stays small) gap between my front teeth than to wear braces again for years, only to have them tell you every time you think you will get them off that "we should wait a bit longer". Maybe puberty is the ideal time to have them, if required. One is so unadapted in any case at that point, a bit more awkwardness should do no permanent harm. Well, your first kiss might be a bit disappointing, but I think that had nothing to do with the railways.
.
I did. And so did about half of my class at some point. As soon as we hit high school, on came the railways. This would probably be the worst time to be made even more awkward: puberty, hormones, bad skin, growing desires, and then you impose a chastity belt on your teeth. When I got mine, I did not think they were that bad. I wasn't into the creative elastic arrangements in different colours because they would draw even more attention to my mouth.
Once, I was chewing gum, and the stupid ball got caught behind my braces: my teeth were lined with gum.Gum gum gum everywhere. And then one can't go pulling it out in the middle of class. Now I am laughing at how embarrassed I was, but it is really quite funny. Shame.
I had braces for my first kiss. Luckily he did not. I wonder if two people with them can really get stuck? If they can interlock somehow and then one stands there, literally lip-locked. That must be quite a story to tell at a dinner table twenty years later.
Strange how the youth of my generation have mostly had braces. We have all had metal-mouths. Perhaps this feeds from the now-ingrained obsession with what we look like. And teeth do seem to play a rather vital role there. No one is content with theirs, we seem to want super-white sparkly straight teeth, like we see in the Colgate adverts. Just thinking about the British one thinks of bad teeth, or about how Tom Cruises's look a lot more perfect that they did in Top Gun.
I am glad I had braces. I am glad everything is on the straight and narrow ( well, sort of). But now, years after having been freed form the constraints, years after sliding my tongue over smooth teeth, they are starting to separate again, especially between the front two. The teeth have a mind of their own. No, it is probably a genetic predisposition to imperfect incisors.
And to be honest, I would rather have a tiny ( haha let's hope it stays small) gap between my front teeth than to wear braces again for years, only to have them tell you every time you think you will get them off that "we should wait a bit longer". Maybe puberty is the ideal time to have them, if required. One is so unadapted in any case at that point, a bit more awkwardness should do no permanent harm. Well, your first kiss might be a bit disappointing, but I think that had nothing to do with the railways.
.
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