Bite me

She says: "Look! Your foot is turning blue!" As though it were a good thing. The girl, who is about ten years old and wearing a floral dress, is pointing at my left foot with her index finger and smiling up at me. I am sitting on her parent's bed in a cottage on some resort near Sun City.

It was my confirmation present, for having affirmed my belief in God ( which I now battle to affirm), and my friend and I went along with a group of German exchange students who were placed at various homes around the country. The idea was to go to Sun City and have some bonding fun.

At the resort we were staying at they had a swimming pool and my friend and I decided late night to go swimming because it was so warm and we didn't want to play cards ( what is it with the German obsession to play cards at night?!) . So we put on our flip-flops and headed to the pool. Walking past the last chalets to go to the pool I felt a slight sting on my toe and saw an insect scurrying away. As we walked on, my left foot started to go numb and we asked a family who had just arrived if I could sit on their bed while my friend went to fetch the adults. I make it sound all cool now, but in reality I was panicking and my friend wasn't doing much better.

So the ambulance gets called, the accompanying adults arrive, my foot goes blue and some first aid guy from Sun City arrives in time to poke holes in my arms without finding any veins. He is the reason I fear giving blood now. I am sorry, but blood donation is not an option because of that poking. Have my organs instead ( when I die, please don't come stealing them from me now).

The ambulance from Rustenburg arrives, they find a vein, and lock and load, off to the city's hospital. We drive for about an hour to get to Rustenburg and I get to inhale some pure oxygen (?) along the way.

When we arrive at the hospital, the doctor is from Sri Lanka. He takes one look at my baby-blue foot and says: "Oh, it must not have been that poisonous. You can go home now."

All the drama for nothing. What a disappointing scorpion bite that was.