B est F riends F orever

During my last year at school, I thought I had found my friends for life. The ones who would be my bridesmaids. The ones who would be there when my children got married. The ones who would drink too much gin & tonic at the old age home with me. 

But then I left for a year, and even though I expected them to write me, or at least to write back, nothing happened. We kept in touch via facebook. They came to visit. And it was almost like always. The friendship was back on track. Perhaps I never gave anyone else a chance to be my friend because I already had excellent ones. 

So back in the land, I started at university. What an arrogant, ignorant person I must have been in that first year. None of my friends were studying with me, or even in the country. But I met an old one again, we had drifted apart previously, and she has become an integral part of my life. I always felt like I did not fit in with the other students because I was two years older ( a lifetime, I know, hahaha) and because I had seen some of the world, I knew what it was to do menial work and to have to earn ones own money. I still know what a privilege it is to learn. For a year I yearned to learn. I missed learning more than Mrs H.S. Balls Chutney. I missed finding something out and marvelling at how I had never considered that before. How I had never thought about it. 

But the ones studying with me seemed not to care. They were not aware. They liked things I had moved past. Again, quite arrogant. And again, I did not really give them a chance. 

Slowly however my old friends changed. Or I changed. Or everyone changed. My idea of having found my bffs was unravelling and everyone left. Near and far. 

So this year I opened myself to new people, fascinating people, people with completely different worldviews and people who have enriched my understanding through their optimism and their perspectives. New people who made me appreciate the value of seeing the world as faceted. 

Now know, I appreciate every one of you : old friends, new friends, close friends, far-away friends, friends who have driven me home when I couldn't, friends who come for tea on Sundays, friends who make photo collages, friends who sms to know if I got home ok or just ask how my day went, friends who need me like I need them. 

I know it is a cliché to say that one cannot choose one's family, but somehow I agree that one chooses one's friends. One chooses to work on a friendship, to keep in touch, to spend time together, to be in the life of the other. So it is a sad when one notices that one has lost one another, than there is nothing really to say when one is in the same room, that the friendship has changed to an acquaintance. But one must probably also accept that every friendship has a lifespan. Sometimes it is better to appreciate a person for their presence, no matter how long it was, than to dislike them for their absence.  

So I will write it again. Thank you for being in my life. You are the extended family of my choice. And I hope I am part of yours, too.