i ♥ you

To some people it comes very easily to say that they love someone. It seems natural to them to slip the three words in at the end of a phone conversation or when saying goodbye. The other day I was standing in the queue at Pick 'n Pay and observed a woman and her daughter telling the dad that they were going to another shop while he was paying and that they would meet him somewhere afterwards. When they had almost left the store, the girl and the mother both turned around and told the father that they loved him. And he then said : " I love you too my darlings." and smiled.

It was weird to me: they would be seeing each other in a few minutes. I think saying that one loves someone is a big deal. It is a commitment to that person. It is telling them that you give them a piece of your heart. Just like that. They can have it.

So saying it too often to me steals its significance. Perhaps others feel that one has to say it often to affirm the love one feels. And one has to hear it often to be secure of the other's devotion. Or that a child needs to hear it frequently to feel safe and, well, loved. I don't know. I can understand how this family wanted to make sure each one knew they were loved. I can understand how my friend always tells her sisters she loves them because she has lost others close to her. I can understand why my mother says it. I can understand saying ILY. But I cannot understand the feeling, because to me there are different types of love. The way family loves is different from friends, which in turn is different from passionate love.

Humans are obsessed with love. We sing about it. We write poetry about it. We devote entire oeuvres to a feeling that cannot be defined equally for each. We love to ♥.

Maybe I cannot understand it because I cannot box it in and store it away in my mind. Perhaps I cannot understand it because as often as it is true, it is also a lie.

Je t'aime. Te amo. Ek is lief vir jou. Ich liebe dich. I love you. Hmm.

It does not matter how many languages I learn, I cannot say it.
Which does not mean that I don't.



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